December 16, 2020

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue.

and so i was. and after the rooms were unlocked and the books had been deciphered, i wanted to love me too. and so i became a question. stepped back into unsolved.

Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them.

and so it is, maybe. i do and don't know this. i look but am not seeking. i don't wish to be given. i wish to take. or. i accept and reject. at least, to be able to do these things, is to live.

And the point is, to live everything.

and so i will attempt. even if alone. even if costly. even if wrong.

Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

and so i hope these days without answers come to rest easy in time. more importantly, may i grow bold along the way. even without. even without.

― excerpts from Rainer Maria Rilke's from Letters to a Young Poet